Foreword
By Pennsylvania House Majority Leader, Rep. Kerry A. Benninghoff
Are You My Mother? These four words are the title of a classic children’s book written in 1960 by P.D. Eastman. They also make up the yearning question of many adoptees as they walk down the road, ride a public bus, or gaze around in a crowd.
Join author Nancy Virkler on her life’s journey and that of her son as he searches for the answer to those four very words. Their intertwined journeys are described in her book, Reaching Beyond the Secrets.
Every family has its story. Some traditional, some not, some a patchwork, none perfect, most unique – this is Nancy and Marcus’s story, and I am honored to be a small part of it.
Nancy allows you to walk alongside her as the veil of her secret as an unwed mother is lifted by a simple legislative bill achieved through an arduous seven-year process. She shares with her readers a complicated, long, and exhaustive process for many Pennsylvania adoptees, including her son, to obtain basic information about themselves. Data that all others can get for a small application fee of $20.
Her book shines a light into a dark world cloaked in shame, secrecy, and even politics that adoptees and birth parents faced. A world that prohibited many Americans from the fundamental desire to answer: “From where did I come?” For years courts and other government officials decided who could and who could not have access to a copy of their own original birth certificate.
Reaching Beyond the Secrets describes the sometimes exhausting, fruitless efforts many adoptees faced and how answering that four-word question became the key that gave the author an adult son, daughter-in-law, and a second life as both grandmother and now author.
This book allows the reader to experience the author’s incredible journey, one she never planned to take and most would not think about. Emotional, exciting, scary, and full of love – a journey we call life.
Nancy and I first met on her son’s 48th birthday when they both came to the Pennsylvania State Capitol to meet those who made it possible for her to hear the words mother, mom, and grandma! My staff and I were mesmerized sitting in our small office listening to them tell of their first meeting, Nancy describing first seeing his face, and just knowing in her heart that he is her son!
No number of years or miles, or even residency in different states, can sever the biological thread of a mother’s love for her child.
Every family has its story. Some traditional, some not, some a patchwork, none perfect, most unique – this is Nancy and Marcus’s story, and I am honored to be a small part of it.
ENJOY!